[x]

The darkness embraces me
I'm getting cold
The darkness inside of me
It's so very old

You have made it grow
It has found its way
You have made it show
And it won't go away

Those words they beat me
I'm in pain
For lies they feed me
Its in vain

I know the truth
I'm the one to blame
But my darkness within
It won't go away

I hope someone will cast a light
On my shattered heart
I hope someone will love
This monster I'm

Without light, there is no shadow
Without good, there is no bad
Without death ,we wouldn't be alive
And without hate, we wouldn't feel love

I'm So Tired Of Being Here

I'm so tired of being here
I'm trapped by all my fears
I wish you could see me now
Broken and crying for help
My blood it flows
And I don't want it to stop

I'm so tired of being here
I'm trapped by all my fears
I wish I could heal myself
Wipe all these tears away
But my heart it bleeds
And I don't know how to stop the blood

I'm so sick of being hurt
I'm trapped in my own mind
I wish I could hear those songs
But then I remember you
And I now I cry again
God why can't I be a man?

Would You Care?

If I died
Would you care?
If I cried
Would you be there?

If you died
I would die
If you cried
I would cry

If I screamed
Would you calm me?
If I lived in fear
Would you hold me

If you screamed
I would kiss you softly
If you lived in fear
I would always be there

I hope you know
That I'm always there
Even if you hate me
I'll always be here for you

I hope you know
That I will always care
For even in the darkest hour
There is a distant light shining

And it will always shine
Because some people
They never stop caring

I Walk This Earth, For Nothing

I walk this earth, for nothing
I have no dreams
No ambitions
I have no hope, for tomorrow

I'm not happy, I'm not sad
I can hardly smile
I rarely cry
My emotions, they are dead

I walk this earth, for nothing
I walk this earth
simply to walk on it
I walk this earth, and I keep moving

Nothingness, that's my reason
My reason to smile
My reason to cry
My reason, for everything I do

Nothingness, is my hope
The reason I live
The reason I will die
Nothingness, a sweet word

For me, nothingness is a reason, it's a reason to live
also , life is a dark road, you never know what you will find

I Don't Want A Super Hero

Don't Listen To Them

Don't listen to them
Don't let them feed you lies
You're perfect, just the way you are

Don't give them the gain
Don't let them feed on your despair
You're golden inside, I know you are

Don't give them a reason
They enjoy seeing you suffer
But in the end it's not worth the while

Their mouths are like open graves
They tell only lies
For deep inside, you're worth more than a thousand diamonds that shine

My World Is Dead

Some people are scared of the end of the world
I'm not afraid of that, because my world is already dead

Rain

Some people walk out to cry in the rain
But I'm a lazy person
I walk into the shower to cry

Sea Of Depression

Left alone, in my heart
Six feet under
Cry in pain, dead inside
Six feet under

Fix the rose, stop the blood
Five feet Under
Kinda stuck, but It will mend
Five feet under

Now I'm stuck, Left for dead
Four feet under
Sometimes, I feel like shit
Four feet under

Getting better, all alone
Three feet under
I put my faith, in him for once
Three feet under

Music tastes, so damn good
Two feet under
I can listen again, to our song
Two feet under

Your almost there, you can grasp the air
a feet under
Tears of joy, crack a smile
a feet under

I'm finally out, finally free
I'm over the sea
I can love again, I can be me
I'm over t

Alien

I must be an alien
The others handle it so well
They move on
They're fine

I must be an alien
The others handle it so well
I'm crying
And I'm dying

I must be an alien
The only thing that I want
Is a friend
To hold me, to control me

I wish I could turn humanoid
Maybe then I wouldn't be alone
I'm broken
And I'm open

I must be an alien
I'm on the outside looking in
I'm Hoping
For nothing

Happy Poem?

Someone asked me to write a happy poem
But I can't, on the inside I'm not happy

Someone asked me to smile for the camera
But how can I, When I'm falling part

Someone asked me to laugh my real laugh
But I can't, there is something wrong with me

Someone asked me to write a happy poem
But I can't, I'm not happy inside

And happiness is the only emotion
I can't fake

This Is Gonna Take A Long Time

You must love yourself to love others
....... This is going to take a long time

On The InsideOn the inside I'm alone
In my head there is chaos
On the outside I'm free
I'm calm and just me

I hang myself everyday
Under my skin I kill myself
What you see is a smile
What you hear is a laugh

A lost soul looking for a purpose
What does it expect to find?
Answers or the truth?
Cause am I really alive?

Scars

They say that every scars tells a story
Well, then I'm a fucking history book

Dead Inside

I'm searching for faith
In a world left for dead
I'm crying for help
In a world forever gone

I'm hoping for a dream
In a nightmare never-ending
I'm clinging to my emotions
But soon I will have non

I'm dying
I'm dying alive
Death comes alive
Death is a part of life

But what if I'm already dead, inside

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Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I was dead
Sometimes I want to change the past
Sometimes I regret
And sometimes I'm hurt

Sometimes I smile
Sometimes I cry
Sometimes I Hate
And sometimes I'm emotional

Sometimes I wish
Sometimes I hope
sometimes I dream
And sometimes I crawl

But in the end
I'm still me
And if you want to change that
Then I got two words for you

Fuck off

The Tears Are Dried

The tears are dried, but I still cry
There is something in me that won't stop
My sadness has ended, but I'm not happy
There is something in me that won't let me

I'm trapped in the past, and recovery is 50 miles away
I have tried walking but I do not get any closer
The blessings I have had, they are counted
Now I will find all my curses

I think I deserve this, am I wrong?
Can even the one up above forgive me?
Moving on, oh I wish I could
But my heart is stuck and I can't help it

The tears have dried, but I still cry
There is something in me that won't stop

I'm Haunted

I'm haunted
I'm haunted in my head
I'm haunted in my home
I'm haunted all the way back home
I see, I remember

That cuddle coach is dusty
My bed is full of tears
The bathroom has blood stain
And my mind has fears

I'm haunted by her words
I'm haunted by her voice
I'm haunted by her face

I wish I could say
The break-up was fine
we weren't meant for eachother
But for me, she was the one

I'm haunted by her
And she won't ever know

Bandaid Box

I wish I could be a band aid box
Covering your scars and cuts
Heal your wounds and make it alright

I wish I could be a band aid box
For then I could fix the pain I have caused
Help them heal and spread some love

I wish I could be a band aid box
A tiny little band aid box
So I could fix the pain I have caused

Have You Ever Felt

Have you ever felt alone, in a room full of people?
Have you ever felt dead, when you 're alive?
Have you ever laughed, but cried your heart out on the inside?
Have you ever felt free, But still trapped?
Have you ever felt the need, the big need to
Fake a smile, and act like it's okay?
I have, and I will do
But staying true to yourself, knowing who you are
That is the most important thing, a human can do

The Mask With A Crack

I have a mask, but you can't see
I have used it all day, even for my family
They think they know, they think they see
They hope they know the real me

But they don't, and they won't see
Because I'm too emotional, to be me
I'm afraid to get hurt, afraid to open up
I'm not a book, you can't open up

They have told me, '' You're a great actor ''
They don't know why, they don't know how I learned to act
I'm an actor all day, and a wear a mask
I can't get hurt, they can't touch me

I let one in, I let her see
I was told, that she loved me
And we were happy, young and free
Now she hates to even think about me

After she left, my mask g

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Submitted: March 4, 2012
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Dear Scouting Knife

by ~Meandor117, Mar 4, 2012, 9:33:16 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

No darling, I won't crawl back to you again
Stop calling, your voice will die in my head
You won't fix it, I'm better off on my own
Dear scouting knife, Leave me alone

Dear Scouting Knifeby ~Meandor117

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This was written to what was going on in my head when I was close, The first thing I cut myself with was a scouting knife, that's why I use it in this

[link] Link to the picture ^^

love 1 1

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~MirDeeDee Mar 14, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I like this one a lot. I cut for a long time, but I stopped about a year ago. I saw cut on my younger sister, and when I asked her about it, she told me that she learned it from me, and we both just cried. I swore to her and to myself I would never cut again, and I haven't, but it really is tempting sometimes. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is possible to stop. Self-harm is a very real addiction, and it is really easy to relapse. But just keep pushing through. It's not easy, but it will be.

~Meandor117 Mar 14, 2012

It always gets better

!luvserenity000 Mar 6, 2012 Student Writer

the picture alone has alot of meaning

~Cricketalice Mar 5, 2012

Wonderful you just put basically my whole life in this picture I love it so muh. Fun fact for the future girls are a symbol of child abuse or just abuse

~Meandor117 Mar 5, 2012

I wouldn't say fun fact but maybe a fact

~VampireAkiri Mar 5, 2012 Hobbyist Artist

Chills! <3

~Meandor117 Mar 5, 2012

Glad you liked it

~NightMeadow Mar 5, 2012

You know... if you feel like talking about this..??

~Meandor117 Mar 5, 2012

I get all my depression in my writing mostly, I havn't cut for over a month now so I'm getting better, but I needed to get this out XD That why I wrote this ^^

~NightMeadow Mar 5, 2012

Yeah.... but I would lie if I said "good" or "okay", cause it's neither good or okay that you've cut yourself, and I don't care how long ago you did it. You must stop, you hear me? I don't want you to get hurt. Cutting is just a bad excuse (sorry if I seem hard), and a way to show people and yourself that you are hurt, but don't. You'll freakin' regret it later in life. Please don't hurt yourself.

(you heard me, the rest of you folks who cut yourself?)

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